Emily gets all the credit for me blogging - she thinks I’m a good writer, and since she's never wrong, I thought I'd use what talent God has given me to share my experiences in fatherhood with the entire world. If that's not a non-sequitur, I don't know what is.
Looking back on the day of Hank's birth, I often find myself wishing that I had made more of an effort to relish the experience. Despite my best efforts, I feel as though I failed to appreciate that time as fully as I could have. Perhaps this feeling is inevitable. But I’ve always been guilty of looking to the future at the expense of the present; of focusing on the destination at the expense of the journey. It takes a conscious effort on my part to slow down and notice my surroundings every now and then.
Hank has a way of knocking us out of our rhythym. We find ourselves constantly looking for Hank to fall into a routine; and whenever we think we have the next hand figured out, he has a way of re-shuffling the deck. It's good in a way - every day is different. Difficult, but different.
The fact that I actually wanted a son helps tremendously. A man puts forth his best effort when he's interested in the job at hand, and I am definitely interested in being a father. Because I’m enjoying fatherhood so much, and because Hank is constantly changing things up, I feel like I notice more of the subtle changes in his appearance and behavior, and every time I do, I’m reminded to slow down and enjoy the ride, because this is one journey Hank and I will never be able to repeat.
Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
1 comment:
I love listening to your thoughts on fatherhood. What higher calling is there? I think the guilt feeling is inevitable, just because we humans have this thing called nostalgia. I had that same guilt feeling about both of my pregnancies, deliveries, early newborn days, and often, just on a day-to-day basis. I try to to stop often and take a mental picture of a particular moment with my children. I pay attention to the lighting, the smells, the feel of them and the way the surroundings look. I know one day we will join the masses in saying, "Enjoy the time when they are little, because time sure flies."
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